Dilandau/Cerena
by Tianaki
Summary: He he.... must be bad luck..... another parody!!! This one's quite self-explainatory, but it's to those of you who believe Dilandau and Cerena are (or should be) two different people.....


**A/N: Oh, one more thing……. I make an appearance!!! ^_^**

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**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but myself….**

***blah, blah, blah* - A/N's**

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**Allen stared at Dilandau in shock. "You're – you're Cerena?! No…. no…… it can't be……… no………"**

**Dilandau turned to Folken. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN, I'M THIS – THIS PATHETIC BAKA'S SISTER?!!! I AM THE LORD OF ZAIBACH, LEADER OF THE DRAGONSLAYERS!!! AND, BAKA, IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED, I'M _MALE_!!!"**

**Folken smirked. "You were Cerena Schezar when Zaibach caught you, Dilandau. We had a gender-altering machine, and we saw that you had an evil side just waiting to come out. So we brought it out, and switched your gender along the way." *Thank you Hitomi_Fanel for this information, if you should happen to read this!***

**"YOU"RE LYING!!! MOERO!!!!!!!!" Dilandau whipped out his flamethrower and – **

**"Okay, I don't want no deaths in this fic," a voice popped up. A girl with raven-hair and brown eyes, framed by a pair of somewhat oval-shaped lens emerged from the shadows. *Yes, I actually look like that.***

**"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!" Dilandau screamed. "HOW DARE YOU INTERRUPT ME WHEN I'M IN THE PROCESS OF BURNING SOMEONE!!!!!!!!!"**

**"I'M THE AUTHOR, SO I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT!!!" the girl screamed. She suddenly flushed. _Oops, _she thought._ I just yelled at bishonen psycho who could kill me – wait, he can't do –_**

**__****"DIE, B*TCH!!!" Dilandau screamed, and aimed his flamethrower at her. The fire shot out, and headed toward the girl. She raised her hand, and it froze a few feet away from her. She snapped her fingers, and the fire disappeared.**

**Everyone looked at the girl in confusion… except for Dilandau. He looked like he could strangle her right that instant.**

**"Who – who are you?" Hitomi asked. Everyone else present echoed her question.**

**"I'm sky mage."**

**Silence. ::chirp, chirp::**

**"Oookkkkaaayyyyy……. A mage is someone who has magical powers, and since I'm 'sky' mage, I have powers as vast as the sky!!!"**

**More silence. ::err…. no chirps….. the crickets died from the long span of time::**

**"Never mind."**

**"May I acquire what brings your presence, my Lady?" Allen asked politely.**

**"I'm not a Lady!!! I'm a mage!!! Why can't people get that?!" sky mage screamed.**

**She mentally slapped herself on the forehead. _Oh, great. Now I yell at a bishonen knight who can also – oh wait. Keep forgetting _no one_ can kill me…._**

**__****"Um….. well then," Allen said in confusion.**

**"Just call me sky mage, 'kay?"**

**"Um…."**

**Dilandau had his anger building up during that episode. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!!!" he screamed.**

**Sky mage looked brightly at him. "I'm here for one reason, and one reason only."**

**"What's that?" Van asked.**

**"To split Dilandau from Cerena!" **

**"You can do that?!" Folken exclaimed.**

**"Of course I can, you baka!" sky mage snapped. "I'm a mage, remember?"**

**"Er……."**

**"Forget it!"**

**Sky mage looked at all present. "Do you all want Cerena to split from Dilandau? I must have an unanimous agreement for this to work."**

**Everyone looked at everyone else. "Uh…. sure…. why not?" they replied.**

**"Okay, then." Sky mage clapped her hands together brightly. "Now we can get started."**

**"Do you need any help with the preparations?" Migel asked.**

**"I have powers as vast as the sky!!! I do not need to do bothersome preparations!!!" she yelled. Then she added happily, "But thank you for volunteering!"**

**Everyone sweatdropped.**

**"I just need Dilandau to stand right in front of me. And no one else can be in my line of vision, or it'll mess up the whole thing."**

**Everyone backed away. Dilandau, however, did not move.**

**"How do I know you're going to do what you said you'll do?" he asked skeptically, and, thankfully, no longer screaming.**

**"This is what the whole fic's about!!! Of course I'm going to do what I said I'll do!!!"**

**"Oh…." Dilandau, for the first time, looked sheepish. *I bet that'll be so kawaii! ^_^***

**Dilandau moved in front of sky mage.**

**"Okay…" sky mage began chanting.**

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By the powers I possess

Make the one I see

Become two beings

One a he

The other a she

So mote it be!

**Dilandau began splitting, and a female version of him began to emerge. Hitomi, Millerna, and Merle, not used to seeing these things, cringed visibly at the sight. *You know, like the Animorphs, when they morph, only someone comes out of the other person, or something like that* Van showed a faint look of disgust.**

**When the process was finished, sky mage waved her hand. "Sayonara, everybody!"**

**Dilandau raised his flamethrower and aimed it at her.**

**"Enjoy your new addition to the group!" she said quickly, and disappeared just as fire flamed pass where she was a second ago.**

**"Oh oniisan," Cerena cried, tears streaming down her cheeks.**

**"Imooto….. oh, my dear Cerena," Allen said, and the two long lost siblings embraced.**

**Millerna cried, muttering something about that being beautiful. Dilandau, twitching angrily that he couldn't burn the girl who called herself sky mage, settled at burning Millerna.**

**No one seemed to notice. *I wonder why?***

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**A/N: Okay, I did not see the end of Escaflowne *curse you, Fox Kids. MOERO!!!* so I have no idea how the characters realized Dilandau was actually Cerena…. this is my version on how that happened, but anyways, review!!!**

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